I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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