what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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