If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
