that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
