someone threw a dead crab at me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
