garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
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I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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