to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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