I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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