she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
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No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.