So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.