What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize