As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
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she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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