If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
and she was petting her beer can
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
