Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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