he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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