i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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