I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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