do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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