So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
