Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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