sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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