I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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