Sry I called you an 8
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
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Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
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