ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
