1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
