He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
