doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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