Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize