If i come over, it means nothing
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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