how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
