Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
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