We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
