omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
