if i can run in heels then i can drive
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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