i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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