Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think i got beer on your cat.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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