Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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