Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
