Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
