I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize