He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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