I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
