We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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