I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
