If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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