Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
