I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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