He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
