Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize