his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
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I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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