SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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