when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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