dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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