I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
