OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
