I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
