Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
