Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need a beard to bite.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
