the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
