He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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