I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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