For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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