Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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