I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
