May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize