Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
