11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
