i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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